


His Heart In Her Hands

by GlowingMechanicalHeart



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Love, POV Nerdanel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27618416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlowingMechanicalHeart/pseuds/GlowingMechanicalHeart
Summary: “I brought someone, ammë.” Fëanáro spoke again.
Relationships: Fëanor | Curufinwë/Nerdanel
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36





	His Heart In Her Hands

**Author's Note:**

> I messed with the timelines a bit.

Nerdanel hesitates, she’s standing at the edge of the public parts of the gardens of Lórien. Fëanáro is standing a few steps ahead of her, he doesn’t hurry her, there’s a solemn and understanding to his face. She takes a deep breath, then steps forward, intent on meeting him and walking next to him to their destination.

She’s nervous, but then again, this is unfamiliar terrain. She doesn’t know what to expect, after all, she’s never been inside these parts of the gardens. Only two elves were allowed in, Finwë and Fëanáro, after all, it was the place were Míriel laid.

Fëanáro, as if sensing her internal doubts and hesitation, he reached for her hand, she took comfort in his warm hand clasping hers, the strength of it was reassuring. And they walked, hand in hand until the arrived into a clearing, and there, in the middle of it, laid Míriel.

It was a beautiful place, the trees were tall and cast a large shade, the flowers bloomed, perfuming the air with a myriad of pleasant scents, Laurelin’s ray shone brightly. Míriel was surrounded by beauty. She thought it was fitting, Míriel, even from a distance, was a beauty. Delicate and fine, silver hair that shone bright in the light, pale peach skin. She looked asleep, as if she would wake at any given moment. But she knew that this sleep was different and, for the first time, she felt a knot in her throat.

It was one thing to know from Fëanáro’s mouth, another thing was to actually see her. To see Míriel lying down, made it all much too real. It nearly unnerved her, elves were not supposed to die. And yet...

Fëanáro let go of her hand and walked towards his mother. He walked softly, as if approaching a small child. “Ammë,” his voice was softer than what she’d ever heard. “I came to see you.”

The knot at her throat felt heavy, she struggled to swallow, tears came unbidden to her eyes, but she blinked them away. She would not cry, at least not yet. Not in front of Fëanáro, the last thing he needed is to comfort her.

“I brought someone, ammë.” Fëanáro spoke again. “I wanted you to meet her, I love her ammë. She’s half of my heart, we want to marry and I wanted you to be the first to know. Atya doesn’t know yet, I’m sure he can guess, but you had to be the first to know.”

“I love her so much, ammë. I don’t think I’ll ever love someone like I do her, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to survive if she were to leave me behind. She’s the first thing I want to see when I wake, the last thing I see before I sleep. I want to make her laugh, to see her eyes sparkle in mirth knowing that I did so. I want to make her happy. I want to live in her heart.”

The tears came back, this time, she wiped them away gently. Her heart ached for him, to see him like this, kneeling next to his mother, holding a hand that didn’t move and speaking to her with such care and tenderness was something she’d never expected to see. And to hear him say he loved her, to tell his mother about them, made her want to throw her arms around him and just hold him. 

Because he was doing something she’d never expected, he was giving her the ability to hurt him. And to hurt him in a way no one save his father could. She vowed to herself to always protect this side of him. This side that gave her this. 

Fëanáro stood, turned towards her and extended a hand, she walked gently, as if she were to spook him if she did so otherwise. She took his hand and stood next to him, “Lady Míriel,” her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. “I am Nerdanel. I love your son, with all my heart.”

Now that she was close to Míriel, she could see that Fëanáro had inherited the shape of his eyes and his mouth from her. Míriel did not move, nor did she spoke, but she wasn’t expecting it. It would be far too much if Míriel decided to return the very moment they would meet. Her heart cracked a little, she could not imagine what it was, that ever constant hope that Fëanáro held, that one day, he’d be summoned here to greet his mother, to greet her as she woke.

“I – I love him, he makes me so happy already. He’s the only one for me, I know so, I would have no other. And I – I promise you, I’ll take care of him as best I can. I will love him until the unmaking of the world, even beyond that. He will never be alone, he’ll have me. I promise you that. But I hope, that one day I’ll be able to speak with you. Maybe – maybe you’ll hold any child that we may have in your arms.”

She heard the crack in her own voice, it didn’t escape Fëanáro’s notice, for his hand gave hers a gentle squeeze. She wanted to cry, Fëanáro should have his mother with him, she should be there as they did the announcement at the palace, to see them bind. But her eyes remained closed, she did not move.

“Thank you for coming,” Fëanáro’s voice was still soft. “I’m glad you did.”

She turned to him, to her surprise, there were tears in his eyes. She walked towards him and wrapped her arms around him, rested her head on his shoulder, some tears escaped her eyes when she felt his arms around her. “I’m glad I came.”

They stood in silence for a while. And she knew, that this was a different sort of bond, this what they just made. One that was based on vulnerability, one that put his heart in her hands and trusting her not to harm it. And she loved him all the more for it.


End file.
